Clearing the Air

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Clearing the Air

Post by Squirreltamer on Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:19 am

Okay, so as some of you may or may not know, over this past week Weird1 has decided to leave the forum. Her reasons are her own and we wish her only the best from here on out. However, we wanted you all to be aware of her leaving - as well as open up discussion/questions about it.

Essentially it boils down to: "Follow the rules and be courteous." which is something that Weird1 often neglected to do.

We want to have fun with you guys! Really, we do! We think you guys are awesome! However, spamming smileys is more annoying then anything. And the other thing members need to keep in mind is that while this is a board filled with mainly adults (which means a higher maturity level) it does not necessarily mean that it is an "adult" board and there is a definite line between innuendo and being unrepentantly crass. We all believe Weird1's Gerald in the RP crossed that line.

The other thing is that if you're in the RP you need to remember that you only have control of your own character and that all RP romances must first be discussed with the person who is playing the other character. No forcing romance on an unwilling RP partner!

Also, while sometimes getting off topic really does just happen, please try and contain it! If you notice yourself or other people going off on an unrelated tangent for a few posts remind them that they oughta get back to the topic at hand and offer to start a discussion in the Everything Else board if you feel like the tangent is worth talking about in length.

The last bit is that, if you have an opinion and want to vocalize it - okay! But be aware that your opinion is not everyone's and that other people have just as much right to state their own ideas as you do. Also, if you do start a fight - own up to it. You don't have to continue fighting, but placing the blame on someone else when you're the one who brought up the controversial topic in the first place just makes you look like a jerk. But always keep in mind that no one here is out to get you! Sometimes we fight! That's okay! It is okay to agree to disagree, but just SAY that and phrase things in non-confrontational ways and basically THINK before you SPEAK.

AND. If you do disagree with someone's thoughts/opinions/etc. do not look down on them for that. Treat their opinion with respect even if it's something that you absolutely disagree with.

Also, if you have problems with an "Ask a Character" player OR if you are having issues with ANYONE on the board - TALK TO YOUR MODS! We're here to help you, but you have to be willing to work with us. Don't try and be a vigilante about things.

Finally, if your problem is with one of the mods, don't be afraid to tell a different mod about the issue. We aren't perfect people. Especially me. I'm a very vocal, outspoken presence here and I know that can be intimidating, but I promise you that I am ALWAYS willing to listen to criticism and would much rather try to strike up a compromise instead of ending things on a bad note.

Now, any questions/comments/concerns regarding what's been said/Weird1's leaving?

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by Perhapsormaybe on Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:23 am

Quick note for the Ask the Character - all questions on that particular subject are supposed to be reported to me (unless you have a problem with something I'm doing. I'd like you to tell me what you have an issue with, but if you're concerned you can take it to another mod and I'm sure they'd be happy to mediate).

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by Squirreltamer on Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:24 am

Oh yes! For the "Ask a Character" definitely try and direct all problems to Perhapsormaybe since she's the only one who knows all the character identities. XD

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by NintendoGal55 on Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:40 am

Okay, all is understood. (Where's a nodding emoticon when you need it???? XD) We all make mistakes, and what happened within all this was not fun for anyone, and especially not me either. I don't want to get into a huge discussion or anything about it, but I do want to say that I understand what happened on both sides of the...well, um, coin? Equation? Pancake? XD

I'm just sad it came to this, because I miss her and she's my friend. It sucks to see these kinds of things happen. But of course, I know what happened (some of it, not all of it) and I'm not going to blame anyone or point fingers or make anyone feel bad. I'm only saying it's a shame in general, that's all. No one likes to see this kind of thing happen on either side.

Well, I guess we all learned a little lesson, yeah?

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by hatterlet on Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:43 am

Yeah. No one wanted to see her leave. She was a valuable part of the forum. There just came a point when things got out of hand and couldn't be fixed. And that really is a shame.

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by Squirreltamer on Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:45 am

Right, it sucks that it ended this way (and if she would like to hash things out with any of the mods we've extended the olive branch of sorts, but it's on her if she wants to try and work towards a resolution or just bow out and either option is perfectly okay!). And I'm sorry to anyone who is affected by all of this. We really don't want to drive people out or make them feel alienated! Promise!

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by NintendoGal55 on Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:48 am

I can pass the message on to her, just to give her the option if she decides to come back and make amends. :3 *Insert nodding here* X3

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by Perhapsormaybe on Sat Mar 27, 2010 7:00 am

Aww, I'm sorry if you got really caught up in this, NintendoGal. *hugs*

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by Squirreltamer on Sat Mar 27, 2010 7:03 am

Also, the reason we're posting this is so that people can understand some of what happened and why and acknowledge that it DID happen. I don't like glossing over this kind of stuff.

If anyone is totally lost and needs a better explanation of what happened, I'm willing to give it. I'll try to present everything as unbiased as possible, but I do obviously have my own specific opinions on the whole thing.

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by NintendoGal55 on Sat Mar 27, 2010 7:16 am

Thanks, perhapsormaybe. ^^ *Hugs back* But don't worry about it, I've been caught in situations like this before, some worse than this. So it's okay, sometimes it's a price you have to pay upon being a friend. :3

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by shameonpretzel on Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:43 am

Squirreltamer wrote:
If anyone is totally lost and needs a better explanation of what happened, I'm willing to give it. I'll try to present everything as unbiased as possible, but I do obviously have my own specific opinions on the whole thing.

Please do. I'm confused as all get out.

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by Guest on Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:58 am

I'm under the impression that Weird1 kept spamming the forum, correct?

I'm not an active participant in the RP games, but I do see what you mean. Weird1's great, and I would love to have her come back, but she would get off topic a lot in the forums and sometimes, one happy face was just... one too many.

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by hatterlet on Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:18 am

It wasn't spamming, per se. It was her blatant disregard for the conventions of the board. She insisted that her way was the only way, and if you disagreed with her, she accused you of putting words in her mouth. She had very set ideas of pairings, and anything that went outside them was wrong (see her discussion of ArnoldxHelga and CurlyxEugene). She was also unnecessarily nasty to several of the Ask a Character players, among other things. I think these were the straws that broke the figurative camels back.

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by Guest on Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:20 am

That's true.

I did see her viewpoints on the Arnold/Helga pairing and did find it a little irritating.

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by shameonpretzel on Tue Mar 30, 2010 2:53 pm

CurlyxEugene???

I thought Curly despised Eugene after the Wanky-Land pencil incident ('False Alarm')
No Smile

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by Annemiek on Tue Mar 30, 2010 3:01 pm

Yeah but that was a first season episode, in later seasons they get along better.
In the this thread we discussed these alternate pairings.
Ow, and here's a curly/eugene discussion if I remember correctly

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by Squirreltamer on Tue Mar 30, 2010 4:05 pm

Basically:

1) Weird1 has had a few instances around the board where she's been:

a] Inappropriate
b] Off Topic
c] Unnecessarily rude and/or confrontational. She tends to phrase things in very accusatory ways and then when someone says something in response to her she pulls back and goes: "Stop putting words in my mouth."

So about a week or so ago Weird1 left a comment in an off topic board about the Eugene player needing to watch what they say. Possibly a valid concern (though the mods all agreed that the Eugene player really hadn't crossed any lines), but the rules still state that if you do have a concern with how a character is being played to talk to Perhapsormaybe - the mod for that board. Don't try and tell the other player what to do on your own, especially since your opinion may not be everyone's.

After that I sent a PM to Anne about what had happened and we agreed that Weird1 was getting a little out of hand. Next thing we know Hatterlet PMed us with the same thought. Pretty much all the mods were thinking that Weird1 was overstepping boundaries and coming across as rude.

Both Anne and I sent her PMs. She responded to Anne's, mentioning something about leaving. We weren't sure if she meant for good so we waited to hear more. Eventually I sought her out on FFN to see what she was doing and if she was coming back.

As of now, I don't think she'll be returning and if she does return she'll first have to talk to us mods because unless she changes her attitude a bit then I think it's better if she isn't around.

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by Guest on Tue Mar 30, 2010 8:58 pm

Haha, yeah, I did too.

But I suppose people can well... grow up and change. However, I can't help but see Curly as being someone who has a hard time forgiving people.

Anyway, I'm glad for some clarification as to what happened. Hopefully Weird1 will come back soon. She did offer a lot to the forum in some ways, even if she did disregard the rules.

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by Annemiek on Tue Mar 30, 2010 9:41 pm

Yeah, we told her that she can stay/come back any time, as long as she behaves and respect other people's opinions Smile None of us have been unfair or mean to her, or even told her to leave the board, it was her own decision to leave.

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by Guest on Tue Mar 30, 2010 9:50 pm

Thanks for the clarification, Squirreltamer. Smile

I hope you and the other Mods know that the work you do to keep these boards running is greatly appreciated!

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by NintendoGal55 on Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:10 am

Well sadly guys, she told me herself she won't come back. It doesn't feel right to her, pretty much. Of course, she owns up to her mistakes and is sorry for them, but yes, she chooses not to come back. It does sadden me, but I respect her decision and I would never force her into something awkward.

To be honest the same kind of thing happened to me on an RP board a few years ago, where I was on a board and some things happened (not like this, it wasn't even anything big, a totally different thing) that made me feel insanely uncomfortable and stupid, so I just kind of up and left. It just felt awkward after a while, and even though it wasn't anything wrong and all that, it just served discomfort to go there, with what happened.

That's pretty much how she feels about it here.

So yeah, that's about it. You guys understand, right? She nor I are blaming anyone, it's just how it happened and how she feels, that's all.

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by Perhapsormaybe on Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:13 am

It does happen. Sometimes people feel it's necessary to leave. I left one board because they promoted someone to moderator even though she constantly was berating a friend of mine on the board who wasn't doing anything wrong.

It's sad that she doesn't want to come back, and I do hope she changes her mind. Some of the things she did were slightly frustrating, but it wasn't really worth her leaving over. *sigh* Oh well, what can you do? If she'd prefer not to be here that's her prerogative.

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by Squirreltamer on Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:15 am

No, we pretty much feel the same way. It's her choice to leave or not leave and if she's not comfortable here then it probably is best for her to not be here instead of hanging around and feeling unhappy about things. If she ever wants to return, cool, but no hard feelings either way.

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Re: Clearing the Air

Post by NintendoGal55 on Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:33 am

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up! *Nod*

Despite the reasons for leaving, the feelings left in it are really what pretty much drove her away. That's how I felt at the time that I left that one board. My reasoning was...well, not stupid, but more of a "What's the big deal? I don't get it." to others, while personally to me it hurt, you know?

But yeah, that's pretty much it. *Nod*

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Re: Clearing the Air

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